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John Wilson

10 new ways to look at being alone instead of being lonely

Depression,Self Esteem

Date : August 28, 2015Comments : 0

We all feel lonely sometimes, but some do more than others. The feelings of sadness and depression that can set in when you are alone can be unbearable to bare but what if we started to look at being alone differently? Can we see the benefit of alone time rather than what others have and what we don’t? Rather than being alone being disappointing and upsetting, being alone can be extremely beneficial to your life that you may not have realised. In this blog post I am going to discuss 10 new ways to look at being alone instead of being lonely.

1. Enjoy what you want to do whenever you want to

a man in a kayak

Probably one of the single greatest things about being alone for long periods of time is that you can do exactly what you want when you want. Having other people around you you have to consider them and by having to be sociable it might stop you watching that sport you enjoy so much or that new game you wanted to play, they aren’t interested or having to make time to go for coffee because they ‘have a need to talk’ all takes your time away from doing something you may really wan to be doing instead of entertaining when you would much rather be doing something else.

Being alone allows you to be selfish and do what you want

2. Get creative

mic

All humans are creative, fact! Just because you didn’t go to art school doesn’t mean you are not creative. By being alone you can set aside time to invest your time and energy into creative projects or explore a new hobby. There are plenty of websites that help you learn new things such as udemy.com or lynda.com. Or maybe you just want to start writing? Have you thought about creating a blog yourself? You can so with wordpress.org or blogger for free! You don’t have to be a technical whizz to make this happen, in fact you need to know very little code at all.

Being alone allows you to invest time in more creative projects.

3.Look inward and invest time on developing self

When we are constantly working, constantly visiting friends and family how are we ever meant to look at ourselves and re-evaluate where we need to make improvements about ourselves. By being alone you are able to look at yourself and spend time developing areas of your psyche you would like to improve. Maybe it is your physical fitness or maybe it is your understanding of the human spirit or maybe it is simply understanding why you felt a certain way in some situations and how can you reassess that thought.

Whatever it is, being alone allows you to look inward rather than outward.

Being alone can give you time to reflect on who is in your life and being grateful for them being there when you need them. It also helps you understand why you appreciate them so much because when you do see them then you notice their little ways and sense of being that you may otherwise take for granted.

Being alone allows you to appreciate those who matter.

5. Allows you to become stronger and independent

meditation improves your focus

When you are with people all the time when the time eventually comes and you are on your own it can come as a bit of a shock for some people and uncomfortable at first. Being alone means you have no one else to rely on but yourself. You must do everything yourself and for that reason you can’t put things off because you ‘feel afraid’ or ‘can’t be bothered’ otherwise it will never get done.

Being alone means you become independent and much stronger mentally because you have to face things you may not want to.

6. Allows you time to reflect on thoughts and change them

learn to forgive the past. A man walking along a beach

One thing you notice when you are alone is you can hear yourself thinking ( if you have no distractions like the television of course) more clearly and this ability helps you become more aware of how you think and are you thinking positively or negatively? If you are aware of your thoughts being negative can you choose to change them even if you know its a lie?

So instead of thinking ‘I am alone, I feel so sad :(‘ can you think ‘I am alone but I have so much opportunity to do what I want! :)’.This is a great practice and is a part of medical treatment known as CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy) where you actively try to change your thinking, if you are interested in this for constant negative thinking please contact your local GP.

Being alone allows you to spend time looking deeper into your thoughts and changing them.

7. Alone time allows you to meditate

sunset-644860_1280

This might seem like an odd one for some people, finding time to meditate can be difficult and when you are just starting to try it it can, for some, feel quite embarrassing but you have nothing to be ashamed of. Meditation is great for people who are on their own as usually what happens when you meditate is you clear your mind of all thoughts and focus your attention on producing a slow steady breath, thus, removing any feelings of loneliness and sadness.

Being alone allows you time to mediate.

8. Allows you to improve your work skills

Something that is often the case with  the founder of BoM is that he comes across skills that he wishes to acquire but never really has the time to undertake them in his job so tries to learn these things outside of work. If he was always with someone he would have no time to make his skills any better as he would be conscious of the person he was with. Find your own skills you would like to improve upon and something that would be deemed suitable for finding your dream job in the future, after all, we spend most of our waking day in our job so how can you start to make steps towards getting a job you love?

By being alone it allows you to improve your skill set.

9. By being alone you learn to not be bothered by others ideology

A lot of very social people want to follow etiquette, social standards and achieve great material wealth to impress all those who know them. Is this really what human living is about? Maybe I sometimes have too much time to think but even if I was a wealthy man, I have no time for pettiness like comparing what I have with the Jones. When you are alone you realise a lot of what society expects to be the ‘norm’ isn’t so normal and you don’t care about what others think of you, you begin to learn that you are happy in your own skin regardless of your surroundings and that is a great contentment that cannot be discovered in any amount of wealth.

Being alone teaches you not to care about fitting in.

10. Being alone helps you appreciate what is really worth valuing.

Sometimes when alone we think about what we would really value is some company and acceptance from our fellow human beings, but the more you study your supposed need for others, the more you realise that acceptance from others really doesn’t matter. Social status has been important for generations as it was the way to generate wealth, find ‘a good partner’ and live a happy life. With the advent of the internet and modern living, being a part of ‘the coolest people’ doesn’t matter as much anymore. What really matters is not others opinion of you but whether you stand up for what you believe in and that you are happy in your current situation.

Being alone allows you to evaluate what really matters in life and it isn’t social status.

ways to look at being alone

These are ten views of why being alone can be a great thing but there are more. When you learn being alone is not to be feared or be sad about you become self empowered. You don’t need the acceptance of other people, friends or family to make yourself feel good, you become courageous doing things you would otherwise not, being alone allows you to advance your skills and creativity and best of all, always be able to enjoy what you want to do.

So next time you feel lonely remember, this is the perfect time to work on yourself and turn the alone time into something incredibly positive.

How do you view being alone? Do you have any other ideas of why being alone can actually be incredibly rewarding? Please comment below.

Author Name : John Wilson

Hi folks! John Wilson is the founder of Battle of Mind and Seek A Therapy and a practising web and graphic designer. Before this John was also a part 1 architect in 2008 but due to the recession found it hard to find part 1 positions so retrained as a teacher only to find that wasn't right for him too...this led to him having a severe breakdown due to excessive debts and no opportunity. He had to refocus himself, his life and how he saw the world. It is with these difficult experiences that Battle of Mind was born and the desire for people to know there is a way out of any difficulty they may be facing. "When things seem to be falling apart they are actually falling together"

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