Socially anxious people are always worried about what others think of them and are fearful of making a fool of themselves, being insulted or ridiculed usually due to past traumatic events that has made them weary of those occasions and so tend to try and avoid social events and situations for fear of it happening again.
Having a nervous feeling about social situations is natural to the majority of us but when it is out of control and makes you extremely anxious, as though there is a danger or threat to your own well being then that is when you must try and realise that even if someone is mocking you ( although highly unlikely ) that you need to learn to stop caring what strangers think of you and start living life again.
In this blog post we discuss 10 reasons why you should stop caring what others think and some suggestions of how to start to put this into practice.
1. No one knows what you have lived through
Some of us have really difficult life challenges that we have to face and no one knows our inner story of the past that we have had to bare, live through and mould us into what we have become in the present moment.
It is a painful reality that others don’t care where you have come from or what you have had to experience in life as people only make assumptions about each other from the present moment not what led you to having ill health or acting in the way you did.
The importance lesson to learn about this is that you know the storm you have faced was real, it was painful but you survived it, you can be proud of yourself to know that you have overcome something that a lot of people in the same circumstance would have likely crumbled.
You shouldn’t care what people think of you because you know that you have weathered a vicious storm.
2. Others do not pay your household bills
You know that person who really insulted you or made you feel small did they pay your electricity bill last month? No? I thought as much!
We shouldn’t care what others think of us because they have no bearing on our lives other than having an opinion that may hurt us emotionally. We tend to give too much emphasis on what others think of us but it really doesn’t matter because in reality, those that do try to judge us or put us down are not worthy of our time or attention.
You shouldn’t care what people think of you because they don’t contribute any value to your life.
3. People that laugh or ridicule others usually have their own personal issues
It bothers me greatly when i see people judging or mocking someone they know nothing about but usually the person who is giving the judgement has many problems of his / her own that she would rather focus attention on others than on working on themselves.
You shouldn’t care what people think because those that create gossip tend to be people that their own life issues that they need to attend.
4. Great minds discuss ideas , average minds discuss events and small minds discuss people
Don’t care what people are saying about you because even if they are talking about you it shows the level of intelligence of the person. Like Eleanor Roosevelt once said
‘great minds discuss ideas, average minds discuss events and small minds discuss people’
Spend your time working on ideas and ways to make your life and other’s lives better and you will find that you stop caring what people think as much as you used to. If you have a goal, an aim and a purpose to work towards and knowing you are doing good by doing it then keep doing it, you will find that you’ll stop caring what others think of you.
You shouldn’t care what people think because those that gossip are of low intelligence
5. Does what strangers think really matter?
Acceptance of others is an inbuilt human trait that we constantly talk to ourselves, wanting to look good, feel good, maybe improve our wealth and have a higher status than our fellow neighbour. It can be so difficult to ignore but when we truly think about it, why do we want it? Is it to be accepted by the rest of society rather than for our own comforts?
What others think of us really doesn’t matter because what matters is that we are happy in ourselves and enjoy doing what we do in life.
6. It drains your energy
Trying to see or hear whether people are gossiping about you all the time is extremely draining of your energy and you are also wasting your valuable source on things and people that don’t matter or add value to your life so why care?
You should only focus your energy on things that really matter to you and your life and worrying whether people are talking negatively about you will only make you feel tired.
What others think of you really doesn’t matter because you are wasting your energy on things that you could use on positive activities
7. Impossible to please everybody
Some people will like you and others won’t, you can never please everyone and you will never get everyone to think the same as you so stop worrying about what others think about you to try and fit in or get acceptance and just be yourself.
You should stop caring what others think of you because you will always get people who will think the same as you and others that don’t.
8. People don’t care as much about you as they do about themselves
The reality of life is that if you listen hard to conversations people have they rarely talk about the other person’s life they are conversing with. Most of the time most people like to talk about themselves and their life more than anything else because to them, it really is the most important thing that exists in the universe.
As you become aware of this you will realise it is a very common occurrence and that most people are actually very self conscious (even those that appear very confident) rather than being conscious about other people’s well being. A good book to read about the psyche of human behaviour and to improve how people perceive you is through reading ‘How to win friends and influence people‘ book.
You shouldn’t care what other think of you because they care more about themselves.
9. You are saying their opinion matters to you more than your family and even your own
When we listen to others insults and opinions of our own character we are saying that their opinion is more valid than our own and accepting what they say to be fact. If we think about it and fester our thoughts on hurtful words or actions we only feel awful and unmotivated to do important tasks or enjoy ourselves.
You should stop caring what others think of you because fundamentally, the only person’s opinion of you that truly matters is your own.
10. It will stop you living a full and fruitful life
When you decide to avoid social situations for fear of ridicule, insult or judgement what you are doing is letting others stop you from living a life you had imagined.
There will always be people who will judge you and there will always be people that admire us or in fact, are indifferent to us but if we listen to the negative comments , smirks and ridicule that we have experienced in the past or in any situation it will stop us living life and there are so many amazing things to experience in this world and without the need for much money!
Don’t care what people think about you because you are stopping yourself from experiencing life to the full.
What can we learn from this post?
To stop caring what others think of us is probably one of the hardest things to overcome.
To survive in prehistoric times our brain was first developed for survival. Being social, fitting in with the rest of the people in the community and being a part of the pack was an important part of this process and yes, this instinct is still genetically inside our brains.
Luckily, being a part of the pack isn’t as important as it used to be to survive if you develop your intelligent mind and so when we realise this, caring what others think about us also isn’t as important as it used to be. Actually, caring what others think of us or gossiping about others truly IS a lack of an intelligent mind as it is the dawning of man when we used to gossip so next time someone is insulting you just know, they are using their prehistoric brain rather than their intelligent developed one. Envision them as cavemen/women because people who ridicule basically are prehistoric!
Unfortunately, we still have these natural tendencies in our brain to want to be liked and accepted ( why we see the social media apps being so successful), most of us think it is important for survival and also to help us live a more fulfilling life and I guess, to some extent, it still is important for getting a good job, a nice partner and admiration for our achievements in life but the power to be ‘liked’ is shrinking amongst the strongest of minds and it feels as though ‘being liked’ is loosing value with it being a click of a button on Facebook.Is that really how we value or lives??! Really!???
In a future blog post we will discuss ways in which you can use some ideas to try to stop caring what others think about you into practice for a more peaceful mind.
If you have any suggestions about why you should stop caring what others think please please leave a comment below.