WIthout Saying A Word

anxiety,Depression,Healing,Life Experience,Psychology

Date : April 30, 2016Comments : 0

Without Saying A Word

As part of their core practitioner training, psychotherapists are introduced to the idea that the message a client is conveying comes only partly from the words they speak.  There is much extra information that makes up how a client presents in the counselling room, including non-verbal information such as body language and gestures, how the client is sitting and what their facial expression is.  Para-linguistic information – or the manner in which the narrative is delivered – can also yield clues which build up a picture for the counsellor.  This information includes how quickly the client speaks, and perhaps the tone and pitch of their voice.  Indeed, much can be learned about how the client is feeling that day without them saying a word about their particular problem. Continue reading “Without Saying A Word”



Date : April 26, 2016Comments : 0

A word on the hillsborough incident from BoM Founder

Justice has been served, the families of the 96 Liverpool supporters who lost their lives to the horrific tragedy at Hillsborough has finally been declared as no the fault of the Liverpool people and in fact, a cover up and failing between the people, in society, we tend to trust the most, the Police, the emergency services,the match organizer and the government bodies involved.

For over 27 years the families of the 96 and the people of Liverpool have denied the opportunity for the Hillsborough event to be sweeped under the carpet and forgotten and is an incredibly emotional experience for all those involved. For the justice system to finally admit that the people of Liverpool were completely innocent and not at all how had been perceived by high officials in the conservative party or The S*n mainstream newspaper and finally, the true people to blame will be brought to justice.

There are many things we can learn from this long and challenging court case in terms of our own lives and I want to share my thoughts on the matter in what I hope is a sensitive but powerful messages that the people involved have really made a strong message.

Continue reading “A word on the hillsborough incident from BoM Founder”



Date : April 25, 2016Comments : 0

9 – “There’s nobody could love me the way that you do” – So Easy Lovin’ You – Ronan Keating

I write this during the longest and darkest period I’ve ever had in the almost twenty years I’ve been struggling with depression. To be honest, coming out the other side of it seems impossible right now. The strain of my darkness puts incredible pressure on my relationship with my Husband and there’s only so long anyone should have to live with what I put him through.

Continue reading “9 – “There’s nobody could love me the way that you do” – So Easy Lovin’ You – Ronan Keating”

Choose Your Grandparents Well

Depression,Life Experience,Motivation,Psychology,Self Esteem

Date : April 23, 2016Comments : 0

Choose Your Grandparents Well

There is no doubt that what we inherit from our parents, grandparents and more distant relatives has an impact on our make-up as a person. Hair colour, height and other physical characteristics can all often be recognised in the family photo album as having their source some generations back. It is also true that certain difficulties – both physical and mental – can be passed down from our ancestors.


Some types of cancer, depression and some psychotic disorders can be attributed, at least in part, to those that came before us (see Cancer Research UK and NHS News).  There is evidence to suggest a link between a condition rearing its head in years gone by, and then the recurrence of that condition in a branch further down the family tree. It would seem, then, that the hand we are dealt in terms of our wellbeing is, in part, determined before we even know there is a game to be played.


If our allocation is to some extent decided in advance then, what hope is there of successfully tackling mental and physical conditions passed down from others? I would suggest that although the cards in our hand are important, how we play them is of far greater significance. Research suggests that diet, lifestyle and attitude are crucial when it comes to determining the ultimate outcome of some of the undesirable legacies we face (see NHS Choices and Psychology Today). Coming to terms with what is on our plate, be it of our choosing or not, is important in learning to move forward and to make the best life possible for ourselves and those we care about.


Sometimes clients attend therapy looking to change a certain aspect of their lives, yet sometimes the facts of their particular situation are quite set.  In such an instance, learning to reassess and take a different stance – to accept the unchangeable rather than to break our head against it – can be a good use of the time spent in the counselling relationship.  So, although it has been suggested that the key to mental wellbeing and physical robustness is to ‘choose your grandparents well’, perhaps looking for meaning in adversity and positivity in a seemingly dark situation will be what we can influence, and may well improve our everyday lives.

What do you have to lose by adapting your viewpoint?

~ Rob Oglesby MBACP B.A. (Hons) BSc | Ashwood Therapy

[Ashwood Therapy provides a discreet, confidential and professional online counselling service by encrypted video call, live instant messaging and secure email.  More details, including tips on wellbeing and information on current counselling session pricing, can be found at http://www.ashwoodtherapy.com/]



Date : April 21, 2016Comments : 0

6 traits of a survivor of severe depression

Hi dear readers, this is a blog post not to scare you or be negative or to make others feel pity or any form of empathy, I am creating this blog post for those people who are suffering with severe depression, living with a person who has been diagnosed with the condition or for people to understand why some people may seem a little different compared to other people you encounter. In this blog we explore what life is like ‘after’ surviving severe depression.

Continue reading “6 traits of a survivor of severe depression”

Online Therapy

Alt Therapy,Psychology,Relationships

Date : April 18, 2016Comments : 0

OCTIA and Online Therapy

This weekend I have attended the OCTIA conference in Bristol, U.K., and have met with many other online counsellors both in person and through the live webchat facility. OCTIA – or Online Counselling and Therapy In Action – has been running for several years and brings together therapists from throughout the United Kingdom and also those practising in different places around the globe. Although many attend the physical conference room, many more log in from a variety of countries both near and far to hear experts in the online counselling field speak on a variety of subjects. This year there were over 700 online delegates registered to take part in the conference from a distance! The event has a truly international reach.

Emotional Connection

The theme of this year’s conference was Relational Depth and Emotional Connection in Online Therapy, and included talks on topics such as ‘Online therapy for those affected by disability and illness’ and ‘Building a therapeutic relationship of depth using text’, to name just two. Research was presented and personal experience discussed, with those in Bristol and those online able to debate issues with the presenters and with each other in real-time. Some practitioners attending were seasoned online therapists, whereas others are currently undergoing training or perhaps considering embarking upon additional online tuition to supplement their existing face-to-face skill set.

Location Independent

What struck me today was the extent to which people were able to share thoughts and opinions and engage with one another regardless of physical location. With one ‘foot’ in the conference room and the other ‘foot’ in the online discussion space, I was able to interact with those sitting next to me at the same time as those in different parts of Europe, North America and even further afield. Technology certainly has made the world a smaller place, and one thing that seems certain is that this technological revolution will only continue to influence the way we go about our daily lives and the way in which we conduct our relationships with each other.

Access For All

Counsellors often strive to ensure that the service they provide is accessible by all, making physical adjustments to the therapeutic space to allow wheelchair access for example, and rightly so, in my opinion. It can be the case, however, that no matter how accessible a counselling room is, if the journey by bus from the client’s home to the therapy room is awkward and difficult, this can be a barrier the client may find difficult to overcome. By engaging with a therapist online the client can access the support they need without having to leave their home, meaning they can have an app0intment at a time to suit them using technology to overcome the usual physical obstacles.

Stigma and Therapy

The point was also made at the conference today that stigma is an issue which prevents some from getting the help they need to move forward with things in their life. I know from my own clinical work that some clients prefer to access online therapy as they can do so in a very discreet way, through their mobile phone or tablet computer, without having to broadcast the fact that they are accessing therapeutic support. In the same way that connections across continents were made between therapists today, clients and counsellors can be linked regardless of the distance between them. Is the connection between two online participants any less ‘real’ because there may be many miles between them on the map? In my experience as an online therapist I would say not – and I think that many of my clients both past and present would share the same view.

Going Forwards

What are your thoughts on accessing therapy from a distance? If you could schedule a session from the comfort of your own home with no need to travel to a consulting room, would that appeal to you? Research is showing that the quality of the relationship between people interacting over the internet can be on a par with that of two people sitting side by side in the same physical space. The way we connect with each other is changing, and I would venture to say that such a change has the potential to be a very positive one indeed.

~ Rob Oglesby MBACP B.A. (Hons) BSc


[Ashwood Therapy provides a discreet, confidential and professional online counselling service by encrypted video call, live instant messaging and secure email.  More details, including tips on wellbeing and information on current counselling session pricing, can be found at http://www.ashwoodtherapy.com/]


Life Experience,Self Esteem

Date : April 13, 2016Comments : 0

Learn to develop your tolerance to improve your mental health

We all have likes and dislikes , beliefs and goals that are developed throughout our life due to many environmental factors such as friends, financial background, religion, schooling and more. When we meet people who have come through life in different ways and at first glance, seem to be completely different to us or make us feel that our lifestyle is threatened, it can make us feel uncomfortable or at worst, angry to the point of rage. In this blog post I explore the importance of developing tolerance of others in helping improve your mental health.

Continue reading “Learn to develop your tolerance to improve your mental health”