manup

Depression,Mens Mental Health,Suicidal

Date : September 28, 2016Comments : 0

Man up…seek help NOW!

Man up! How many times does a man hear those words in his life when he is in emotional and/or mental turmoil after experiencing an untoward event? Men, in particular, are told to hide their emotions and ‘be strong’ but maybe this is why we are seeing a rise in horrendous stats of which kills men under 45 now isn’t cancer, it isn’t aids and it isn’t even heart attacks…it is suicide! In fact , according to  the independent on male suicide rates

“…of the 6,000+ British lives lost to suicide each year, nearly 75 per cent of those are male…”

This is a shocking stat, this is just in Britain let alone the whole world and for far too long many people have been suffering emotionally and mentally in silence, the stigma surrounding seeking professional help and advice MUST end.

In this blog post we discuss what it should really mean when someone tells you to ‘man up’…

 

Continue reading “Man up…seek help NOW!”

pills-1173656_1280

Depression

Date : September 21, 2016Comments : 0

18 – “A Pill To Make You Numb” – Coma White – Marilyn Manson

I have spent months trying to pull myself out of this black hole, fighting the urge to hurt myself, trying all sorts of weird and wonderful new things in order to try and silence the demons, faking the smile for so long that I feel like I’ve forgotten what it’s like to smile naturally. I kept telling myself that things would get better but they haven’t and after barely making it through the last week, I realised if I was to survive this, the only way was to get myself to a GP.
Continue reading “18 – “A Pill To Make You Numb” – Coma White – Marilyn Manson”

tablets are not the cure for everyone

Depression,therapy

Date : September 18, 2016Comments : 0

Help depression not just through anti-depressants but through exploring therapies

Back when I was diagnosed with severe depression and anxiety in 2011 to help depression , my initial treatment was 40mg of citalopram (the highest dosage allowed) and to add me to a waiting list to see a mental health nurse (which took three months after I had been taking Citalopram).

The tablets, on the other hand, were instantly retrievable from the local pharmacist and within two or three weeks did had an improved effect on my depressive mood. Several months after taking the anti-depressants but all I was diagnosed as severely depressed by my nurse (three months to get that diagnosis ) and 4 hours of CBT. Continue reading “Help depression not just through anti-depressants but through exploring therapies”

The Wrong Way Round - On the Death Of A Child

anxiety,Depression

Date : September 14, 2016Comments : 0

17 – “I hope you know you’re not alone in that hell” – Better Than Yourself – Lukas Graham

Tomorrow – 10th September – is World Suicide Prevention Day. Please talk – because you deserve better than to struggle in silence. You are not alone, I promise.

Things really aren’t good at the moment, the cloud remains heavy despite trying everything I can to shift it. I don’t feel able to write much, but I wanted to share something which reminded me why it is that I do my blog, why it is so important to raise awareness and remove the stigma surrounding mental health issues.

Persistent depression surrounds me

In the midst of the summer holidays, the demons were loud as I expected and even though we were away from home, there was no escape from the persistent depression that follows me around. My Husband and I were sitting in a quiet corner of a play park while our eldest had fun on the swings, our youngest was sat with us enjoying the sunshine. As is the modern way, instead of talking to each other, he was on his phone checking Twitter. He mentioned he had a message from the mental health charity Time To Change, who had shared my blog on both their Twitter and Facebook pages. This was huge for me, they are a big name in mental health and for them to think my ramblings were worth sharing was quite overwhelming.

Over the coming hours and days, I watched the Facebook likes/shares (and the Twitter equivalent) increase in number. I found it quite daunting, to know that so many people were reading what I had written and I was worried about what response it would get.

Anxiety high as I read comments

It took me a long time before I felt able to read the comments – my anxiety (for no logical reason) had me convinced they would be full of abuse. When I did read through though, I was incredibly touched. So many people saying those words we all want to hear “me too”. Just two words that mean so much when the depression makes you feel so alone. There were of course a handful of people who didn’t agree with what I’d written, they weren’t nasty about it, we just have different opinions, everyone’s battle is unique.

Time to change

In addition to the reactions directly on the Time To Change post, there have been a number of new members to my private Facebook group. Initially I set it up just so people could follow my blog, but it has turned into something much more than that. It is a safe place for people to talk, to share battles and frustrations, to tell of victories that others who don’t struggle with a mental illness might not see the same way. To help and support each other through the sometimes seemingly impossible task of making it through another day. It has been so lovely to have new people come along to the group as a result of the Time To Change share. It helps me to speak with others who understand how I feel, and I hope it is helping others to realise they are not alone in their fight.

Depression can make you feel isolated

Depression and other mental health illnesses make you feel isolated. You push your friends away because you feel like a burden to them. You can’t always explain clearly to those around you how you feel, but you’re desperate for them to understand and tell you that they love you. You’re not lazy, rude or unsociable, you’re exhausted, struggling, scared and feel alone. It is so important to talk, to say how you are feeling. It doesn’t matter who to, whether it’s someone you’re close to or in a group on Facebook where you know no one. Saying it out loud is not a miracle cure but I do think it is an important step to taking back some control from the darkness.

Its time to share

I’ve come across some incredible people since the Time To Change post, some are still in the early days of their journey, others have been fighting for years. What bonds us though is how much we want to be honest about our battles without fear of judgement – 900 odd Facebook shares of the original post prove that given the chance, between us, we can end the stigma surrounding mental health illnesses.

Please feel free to contact me / join my private Facebook support group –

Facebook – https://www.facebook.com/groups/510466005808498/

 

social-media-1432985_1280

Alt Therapy,Depression,Healing,Relationships

Date : August 14, 2016Comments : 0

10 ways to improve your mental health and relationship with social media

We can’t ignore it, social media is HUGE for our generation.

It has infiltrated every aspect of our lives so vastly that it is difficult not to be a part of it even if you don’t really want to be. It could be said that it has almost made the telephone redundant as people begin to stay in touch and discover what loved ones are doing via Facebook or catch up with an old friend who lives on the other side of the world via Skype or discover the latest sports news before it even hits the newspapers. Social media has made us all more connected to each other but that can have it’s downsides.In this blog post we discuss ten things that we should keep in mind to keep our digital social life healthy.

In this blog post we discuss ten things that we should keep in mind to keep our digital social life positive and healthy.

Continue reading “10 ways to improve your mental health and relationship with social media”

woman-591576_1280

Depression,Life Experience

Date : July 7, 2016Comments : 0

14 – “The sun will shine again” – Sometimes It’s Hard – Jamie Lawson

There’s nothing quite like a funeral to make you think about your own life. This week I kicked my demons into touch to say goodbye to my friend (see blog post 13), and although it was an incredibly difficult and emotional day, it also forced me to face up to the fact that my depression has been in control of my life for far too long.

My cheerful friend

My friend was a vibrant, loud and cheerful person and to see her coffin hit me hard. This beautiful woman really had gone, and there would never be any more messages shared about our kids, or reassuring me that demons are liars. Of course my grief is nothing compared to that of her family’s, and I would like to thank them all for allowing me to attend the service to say goodbye to someone who I loved like a second Mum.

The hours following on from the funeral were hard, once I’d got my head around the emotion of the day, I started thinking about my own life and how my family would feel if it was me they were saying farewell to.

Farewell to a friend made me think about my life…

This period of darkness has been, as I’ve said before, the most intense I’ve ever experienced. There have been many occasions that I have thought about taking my life. Not in a throwaway comment way, not in a “my life is rubbish” way, but in a genuine “I cannot cope anymore” way. The cloud has been suffocating to the point of making me believe my girls would be better off without me. When that feeling consumes you, it doesn’t matter what anyone says, their words just bounce off you like water off a duck’s back. Nothing can penetrate the hold the depression has on you and even if you are told a million times that things will get better, you just cannot see it. I felt like this for a long time, trapped in a place I didn’t want to be and feeling like no one was listening to how desperate I was.




I can see now…everyone was listening and trying to help

Now the cloud has shifted a bit I can see that everyone was listening, and doing their very best to support me. I feel incredibly guilty for making anyone worry about me. No one could have done anything more. It’s so difficult to explain but when your own head is screaming at you that if you end your life this excruciating, never-ending torture will be over, there really is nothing that anyone could ever say that would help. What did I want people to do? To say? I really couldn’t tell you, whatever it was that I needed wasn’t anything that anyone could have offered me. That’s not to say though that friends and strangers alike didn’t try, and I realise now how lucky I am to have people who care so much.

My depression has caused me to become something of a social outcast for many months. Initially I and my family were invited to parties/BBQs/weddings, but I guess after a while I said “no” so many times that friends felt it wasn’t worth asking. I’ve not had cuppas with friends for longer than I can remember. As a family we’ve not done some things our eldest has wanted to do because of my fear of crowded places. The thought of bumping into someone I know locally scared me so much it has prevented normal activities from happening such as visits to the park or trips to town

My depression has always come and gone for years, normally like a switch flicking on and off, and so I am not able to say that any significant event previously has ever resulted in that switch being activated, in either direction. The funeral of someone I loved dearly is perhaps an extreme reason, but the cloud has definitely become a little lighter and the suicidal thoughts are not consuming my every waking thought currently.

My demons come and go, but I feel, now maybe… I am finally on my way back up

It would be silly to think that after such a long and excessively dark time, that instantly I can go back to being happy, sociable and the demons will just disappear. I’ve fought this illness long enough to know that my annoying demons are always there in my head, there is never a day I am totally free of them, but I can honestly say that having hit that rock bottom that everyone talks about, I’m on my way back up.




It’ll still be a daily fight but I’ll keep pulling myself up

It’s going to be a daily fight to keep pulling myself upwards, I’m under no illusions that without pills or counselling I’m making things more difficult for myself, but I’m feeling determined that I will do this – not only for myself, but for my little family, my friends who have remained by my side no matter how hard my demons tried to push them away, and for my lovely buddy Denise, who never doubted I would win this battle.

Every day won’t be a success, I know there will be times that the sneaky demons will try and pull me down again, but I’ve lost enough of my life to them and it’s time to take back control.

Feel free to contact me –

Facebook – https://www.facebook.com/groups/510466005808498/

Email – avvers@yahoo.co.uk