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Rob Oglesby

Choose Your Grandparents Well

Depression,Life Experience,Motivation,Psychology,Self Esteem

Date : April 23, 2016Comments : 0

There is no doubt that what we inherit from our parents, grandparents and more distant relatives has an impact on our make-up as a person. Hair colour, height and other physical characteristics can all often be recognised in the family photo album as having their source some generations back. It is also true that certain difficulties – both physical and mental – can be passed down from our ancestors.


Some types of cancer, depression and some psychotic disorders can be attributed, at least in part, to those that came before us (see Cancer Research UK and NHS News).  There is evidence to suggest a link between a condition rearing its head in years gone by, and then the recurrence of that condition in a branch further down the family tree. It would seem, then, that the hand we are dealt in terms of our wellbeing is, in part, determined before we even know there is a game to be played.


If our allocation is to some extent decided in advance then, what hope is there of successfully tackling mental and physical conditions passed down from others? I would suggest that although the cards in our hand are important, how we play them is of far greater significance. Research suggests that diet, lifestyle and attitude are crucial when it comes to determining the ultimate outcome of some of the undesirable legacies we face (see NHS Choices and Psychology Today). Coming to terms with what is on our plate, be it of our choosing or not, is important in learning to move forward and to make the best life possible for ourselves and those we care about.


Sometimes clients attend therapy looking to change a certain aspect of their lives, yet sometimes the facts of their particular situation are quite set.  In such an instance, learning to reassess and take a different stance – to accept the unchangeable rather than to break our head against it – can be a good use of the time spent in the counselling relationship.  So, although it has been suggested that the key to mental wellbeing and physical robustness is to ‘choose your grandparents well’, perhaps looking for meaning in adversity and positivity in a seemingly dark situation will be what we can influence, and may well improve our everyday lives.

What do you have to lose by adapting your viewpoint?

~ Rob Oglesby MBACP B.A. (Hons) BSc | Ashwood Therapy

[Ashwood Therapy provides a discreet, confidential and professional online counselling service by encrypted video call, live instant messaging and secure email.  More details, including tips on wellbeing and information on current counselling session pricing, can be found at]

Author Name : Rob Oglesby

Rob Oglesby MBACP is a fully qualified and insured therapeutic counsellor who is a registered member of the British Association for Counselling & Psychotherapy (BACP). He is a member of the executive committee for the Association for Counselling and Therapy Online (ACTO), and is involved in the development and furthering of online counselling provision here in the U.K. Rob has extensive experience working alongside clients facing mental wellbeing issues such as depression and anxiety, and is experienced in supporting those facing bereavement, particularly after the death of a child or young person. Ashwood Therapy is Rob's private counselling practice in which he offers exclusively online therapy via secure video call, encrypted email and live instant messaging. He has a keen interest in technology and how this impacts on the therapeutic relationship, and aims to improve access to counselling for those who may be unable to attend a consulting room in person due to other commitments or disability. Rob writes weekly of his reflections on the world of therapy, and invites contact from people interested in wellbeing issues though his Twitter and Facebook accounts.

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