Anger, a lot of people would ‘argue’ is a negative emotion and brings nothing but destruction and chaos to the person who possess it. In this blog post I will discuss anger and what positive things can sometimes come from being angry. You won’t like me when I’m angry!
The experience of anger
When I got completely frustrated with my life situation, no career, no money, no opportunity in my hometown, a relationship that was lacklustre and a government that seemed to keep plowing money into the south of the country and the north just left to rot, I became angry. Very, very angry!
I had worked hard for my education and yet I was worse off than when I had started my course. Yes I had an education but without any opportunity what was the use of it? I felt lied and cheated by the government system and then it got worse as my depression set in.
In the UK, when ill, you get disability benefit, a small sum of around 60 pounds per week. I was on a very high dosage of antidepressants, was hardly going out due to anxiety and feeling fed up with my country. I was in a very bad place, all this after my 7 years higher education that led to nowhere.
Then after 5 months, I had my health reassessed by a government body where I was deemed fit to work by two points, obviously because I answered the question yes when asked if I can boil an egg!?
One of the problems with the UK benefit system is that there are many people who would rather take all the ‘free benefits and housing’ than work for a living and when people, like myself, genuinely needs help they are less likely to get it. So now, not only was I lacking any opportunity in my home but I had also had my help taken away by ‘the government’ yet again!
Harnessing anger for positive change
Anger turned into rage and a fire began to burn in my heart. I turned this anger into an unquenchable spirit of being determined to make my life what I had expected it to be 4 years previous at the turn of the 2008 recession.
It is possible to harness the pain and fire of anger in a positive way. It can make you feel stronger and more determined to do things you may otherwise shy away from and this fire burned in me so brightly that I travelled to South America alone and then on my return to the UK applied for jobs all over the country, achieving employment after only 2 weeks of looking 200 miles away in the south.
Anger has the power to motivate yourself to change things.
Anger can help people understand your dissatisfaction
Are you the kind of person that restricts saying things incase you upset someone? You keep your frustration and feelings to yourself for fear of being disliked or creating upset? I used to be like that for many, many years, people would not know I was unhappy. My method was to try and let what people say to me or about me go over my head and not let it affect me. This was the wrong thing to do, I should have made my unhappiness clear.
The truth is, although we try not to be affected by other peoples comments we can’t help but be emotionally hurt. If you keep it within it will only fester in your own mind and your heart and it is important to let it out, but letting it out in a positive way through action, exercise or making change happen.
The fragility of anger as an emotion
Anger is really like a fire, if you keep it in a controlled environment it can keep you warm and improve your environment but if you give it oxygen it can grow out of control and turn into a full on blaze that will turn into rage.
It is when anger turns into rage that anger becomes very bad for you and the people around you, it is at this point you can become a danger to yourself and others as you begin to loose control of your ability to reason.
When you notice your anger building into rage you must walk away no matter what is being done to provoke you to act upon your anger. It takes a strong person to walk away from someone who has upset you to such high levels of anger in your body.
Once you walk away you must find a quite space, close your eyes and slow your breathing down.
Once you are in control again then you can confront the person or thing that has upset you but never enter an argument or fight when you are in a place of rage as you will only regret what you say or do in the future.
Getting angry can be insightful for you
When we get angry and we have finished our argument or we are out of the situation we were in that made us angry we can become more reflective. We ask ourselves ‘why did i get so angry?’ and ‘how should I have really reacted to the problem?’ etc.
Being angry sometimes allows us to reflect on ourselves, our personalities and learn from mistakes of the past.
So is anger good for you?
“The man who is angry at the right things and with the right people, and further, as he ought, when he ought, and as long as he ought, is praised.”
I guess anger although deemed very negative because you get worked up and upset, is mostly positive. Anger allows you to stand up for yourself and is important part of being human. If you do not express yourself and your disappointments to people when they happen you will only hurt yourself and make yourself more upset in the long run.
I think the important message from anger is to learn to be more confrontational with people and situations whilst remaining in control of your emotions, once you master anger and walk away when it turns to rage, anger can be one of the greatest tools you possess for creating positive change in your life.
Even so, going around with a face like thunder and expecting good things to happen may not be the best way of going about life.
Remember to smile and keep a light heart but when anger does arise know it is not a bad thing but something is not right and must be corrected in some way to restore peace and harmony to your soul.
Have you ever felt that anger has helped you or do you feel that anger is actually a bad thing? Please comment below